Jinan Zeidan's Blog

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BLEEDING STEPS..

I know, the road is hard though she’s walking between the roses, but the thorns are making her steps bleed..She’s in the middle of nowhere, searching for hope, searching for nothing but herself….

 She’s the one to blame when she let  herself live the  pain…The fact that she knows, and the  fact that she ignores what she knows…

I know the look in her eyes when she says:”I’m fine”.  I know her when she tries to lie..She always fails, never knows how to disguise…

She searches for the truth in the liar’s eyes, she provides safety but she’s living in insecurity…People surround her all the time, but she’s so lonely…

I know, why she tries to avoid  sunshine, thinking it might expose her grief, yet she fears the night’s thinking …”what if  I couldn’t sleep?…..”

 Her childhood memories keep chasing her…Her lack to forget is failing, her doll was thrown away in front of her sight; she couldn’t stand up and fight for her little right…

 She’ll never get over her childhood memories, she grew up early, but in her eyes there is always that look  of a princess who lost her crown.  In her eyes, there is truth she can’t hide…There is a lost baby who’s living in the heart of a young  lady…

I know, her road is hard, her battle is  tough…She’s living the love to live though she knows she takes less than what she gives….

She knows nothing but making others smile, though silently she always cries…

She says the sweetest words even if her heart is wounded she never curses…

I know her…She’s the one who  I see every day walking on the road filled with roses…  Her steps bleeding , she feels the pain , she sees the blood,  but she doesn’t want to see the thorns… She’s walking  looking over her shoulder from time to time… As if the little baby who lost her doll, is chasing her, asking for help… She’s walking with bleeding steps… Never caring for her pain… As if the little princess will ask her about her crown…As if she’s the only one to blame…She wishes if she could forget this little baby, or at least see her grow up….But her bleeding steps never stop,  She tries her best to forget that little baby….

I know she’s trying every day to escape with  bleeding steps, trying everyday to forget her pain, but she never realized that  she’s running away from herself;  She didn’t realize that the  little baby never grew up, she still feels the pain with every single bleeding step, she didn’t know,  but I know That…  The little baby is still living in the heart  of this young lady…. 

Jinan

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February 20, 2010 - Posted by | Canada, childhood, English, friendship, Hate, Life, Love, Memories, Past, Peace, silence, Violence

10 Comments »

  1. […] BLEEDING STEPS.. February 2010 9 comments […]

    Pingback by 2010 in review « Jinan Zeidan's Blog | January 8, 2011 | Reply

  2. Excellent…that baby girl has been holding her doll and crying inside for so many years….now it’s time to cure!!

    Your writing is just wonderful, please keep on. Gill had posted one of your blogs from g’log, and I’ve been going from there~
    Namaste

    Comment by Cathy | April 13, 2010 | Reply

  3. Hello…im that lil babi stuck inside this crazy lady…n it didnt even phase me til i read your writings lately…how amazing and relating our experiences are creating these feelings of clarity that i am not alone…your writing, so talented… has truly hit home

    Comment by Nene | April 12, 2010 | Reply

  4. I loved this…I can relate to the girl, everyone has a child in their heart, no matter what their childhood might have been like. You are a wonderful writer, truly amazing.

    Comment by viviantlyours | March 6, 2010 | Reply

    • Thank you Vivian, I really appreciate your comment…

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | March 7, 2010 | Reply

  5. This was very deep and nice Jinouu…
    your blog is amazing. keep working hard and you’ll achieve what you are striving for.
    misss you

    Comment by Jawad | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  6. i dont know if i can say it
    unfortunately there is a baby living in the heart of every one of us
    it was really a good article
    keep it up…

    Comment by meshal | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  7. I loved it!!!
    You write Arabic & English in amazing way, You are a Photographer, a great one , your photos tell about you too, ( what a wonderful country you have ) , great blog!!

    Comment by Ghandi | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  8. You touched my heart deeply. I’m SPEECHLESS!!! You are a great writer.Thank YOU!

    Comment by Sarah | February 20, 2010 | Reply


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