Jinan Zeidan's Blog

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A Game To Play

Looking at her happy face made me feel satisfied for her, that she had just found love again, after she lost her beloved years ago. She had found it hard to let a new person break the walls she had built, had thought that she could never betray his love, even after his death. But today she was talking and talking about her new love, how she never thought she might again find some-one who would make her heart beat like this.  Her ex beloved had been a perfect example for how a guy should love and treat a girl.
I felt as if I know the guy she was talking about.  Through her way of describing him, through her depth of words in describing him, I felt he was strongly there with us.
“How can you tell if he’s playing with your feelings?” I asked.
She replied with confidence: “He’s honest, he said he never lied”.
Days go by and the new love was growing deeply in the young girl’s heart, every day was a new happiness for her, every moment was a new reason to love life more. A year passed by, and the young girl was facing difficulties with her new beloved, one month they are happy, and another month they are fighting.  She used to tell me that she’s thinking about leaving him, but she can’t. She was always assuming – what if he needed her while she’s not talking to him?  What if he has a hard time and needs to talk to her?  Her eyes were always wet, full of hidden tears. She was trying her best to never cry, but in the end she always did.
He never deserved that kind of girl; he was playing games all the time. Though she knew and felt that, she also never really knew why she wanted to stay. Maybe because from the start he asked her to never leave him, and while they were together he kept asking her to never leave. She hoped that the deep love she had towards him would make her want to stand by him no matter what. She might be mistaken to stay with someone who’s not honest, but she wasn’t the kind of girl who loves selfishly. Even when she knows when she should leave, reading the signs wasn’t enough for her. But also eventually, finding that he’s not truthful through his behavior, makes her  decide to leave him for good. He never even tried to ask her to stay, or to defend himself over his mistakes that she saw. She was telling me with a choking voice about the messages she sent to him, and how he never replied to any of them.
Though her wounded pride still kills her, she believes that she’ll get over her love someday. I see her every day, acting like a happy girl, but inwardly so sad.  She may trick people into convincing them how strong she is, but deep inside all she feels is weak.  Her hidden secret revealed every night when she goes to bed, the walls of confidence breaking down, leaving her feeling insecure. She takes off her happy face, the mask to hide her sadness. The silent pain that she has, never  starts talking loudly until she’s alone, surrounded by calmness and tears.
For this young girl, love has changed her life. The first love who died years ago, made her built walls to protect herself from falling in love again. Her fear back then was that death may again steal a new beloved. But when she got over her fears, she opened her heart again for another guy. She never imagined that some people love to play games with other’s feelings. She used to think that the only thing that might separate her from the person she loved would be  death. But death has mercy more than those who decide to use another’s feelings as a game to play. 
If God decides to take away someone’s life, then that is just the right time for them to leave this world.  But for those who decide to break someone’s heart just to have fun, they are so away from knowing God.  If they knew God or had any relation with God, they would know that he exists in everyone of us, including those who’s feelings they have played with.
I don’t know the reasons that push people to cheat on their loved ones. Or to lie and play games behind their back.  Especially when they are loved by an honest person who cares for them and is ready to do anything just to make them happy. Is it selfishness that leads people to do that in order to feel satisfied themselves? Or do they lack some confidence, and by acting in that way with others and seeing them suffering, they feel happy for achieving something? Is it because in their conception, making others suffer means they are lovable? Whatever the reason behind their behavior, immaturity is playing a big role in their lives. Perhaps being away from God is also a reason that makes them cause pain for someone.   Making a person who truly loves you feel insulted with wounded pride is the worst thing someone might cause to another. It’s amazing how deep feelings change a persons life. It puts them in upper places, where they feel as if they are flying so high. But when that is covered with lies, it is weird how the same feelings affect their life by throwing them from the high sky immediately to bury them under the ground.
When someone decides to play with another’s heart and feelings, they are building themselves up by pulling another down. When a person decides to play a game with another’s heart without thinking of the others feelings, then their own life is losing its meaning with time, their connection with others will fade away, and their opportunity of having someone new in their lives is decreasing. They may enjoy playing their games and think they have won, but after the other person who gave so much of his or her time and love is left standing in silent anger, what have they really won? 



December 16, 2010 - Posted by | Death, emotions, English, fear, Footprints, forgiveness, friendship, Hurt, Letters, Life, Love, Memories, others, Past, Peace, play with feelings, Promises, silence, Smile, Speak, Thought, Trust, unfaithful, Words


  1. Nice….and true

    Comment by Rajaa | February 6, 2011 | Reply

  2. I noticed you don’t have a digg icon on your blog, you must get one so that more people will know you exist.

    Comment by anime-manga | January 12, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you so much for giving me this note, I just added a digg icon to my blog under share buttom. It’s available now. Thanks again, I appreciate your opinion!!

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | January 13, 2011 | Reply

  3. Very well written regardless of the complexity of the subject, you should write more often. Your penning manner is pleasing and the way you handled the subject with grace is memorable.

    Comment by generator ozonator | January 12, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you so much, i’m glad to have new reader and new opinion about my writing. Your comment is so appreciated!!!

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | January 12, 2011 | Reply

  4. Thanks for the post, I even learned something from it. Super quality content on this website. Always looking forward to new article.

    Comment by Johnnie Guerera | January 9, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your comment. It seems it’s your first visit to my blog. I’m glad you liked it.

      Have a great week ahead.

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | January 9, 2011 | Reply

  5. Very well done Jinan. Giving your heart requires the risk of having it broken, and to have never loved would have been a far worse tragedy than to obtain the scars of love mis-spent. Keep up the good work.

    Comment by Chandra Teslar | December 24, 2010 | Reply

  6. thank you jinan!!thank you !!the more you write!the better its gets!!bless you! Bravo!!

    Comment by daniel | December 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks to you Daniel 🙂 no need to thank me , you are very welcome & i’m glad that you liked my article!!

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 23, 2010 | Reply

  7. My Dear jinan,
    What can I say? Again your story is beautiful. Thank you my darling girl, for sharing so much of yourself with all of us.
    I am in California, now for the Christmas holidays. Today I spent the entire day baking cookies with my grandnieces and nephews. I am
    tired….But what fun we had,
    Keep up your great work and I will talk to you after I get home, the end of December.
    My Love & Many Blessings,

    Comment by Arlene Meuchel | December 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Arlene 🙂 so glad to see your comment, I’m glad you are enjoying your time & happy that you liked my post as well. Thank you for your lovely comment…

      Much love to you..

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 23, 2010 | Reply

  8. Lovely writing style.You have deep insight. you are blessed with the power of words. Thank you for sharing your gift.Keep letting your light Shine Jinan!!

    Comment by Joy | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Thank you so much!! :)your comment is so appreciated!!

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 23, 2010 | Reply

  9. Oh the heartache people can go through, you tell the story well, love and blessings Jinan!

    Comment by Dora | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Love & blessings to you too Dora 🙂 thank you!!

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 23, 2010 | Reply

  10. Jinan –

    How well I remember what the heart break was like while married to my deceased ex-husband. Numerous affairs and an illigetimate child all happened during our 25 years of marriage. I stayed for 23 years before making the painful decision it was much better for me emotionally and physically to divorce my ex-husband. I asked God to help me with my decision and life moving forward and now find His blessings abundant in my life. Thanks you so much for writing this article as it helped me to see how much I’ve grown in the past years. You are indeed, a wonderful writer.

    Warmest Holiday Wishes to you and your family!


    Comment by Doris | December 17, 2010 | Reply

  11. Jinan,
    You always find the words that touch my heart.
    Thank you for being such a caring soul.
    Much Love ~ Gill xXx

    Comment by Gill | December 17, 2010 | Reply

  12. Yes that’s right sisther it’s always the same old story. Go with in or go with out.

    Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.
    Be here NOW
    We are ONE

    lOVE YA
    you are so fine

    Well one more a Happy one


    Comment by Qheay | December 17, 2010 | Reply

  13. True… So true..

    Comment by Hani | December 17, 2010 | Reply

  14. This is a nice and thought provoking article. I wonder how it would have played out differently, if the girl had listened to her instincts and left the relationship early on instead of rationalizing why she should stay and allow herself to be tormented. An empowered person would not allow themselves to be a victim. She taught him that it was alright to treat her that way.
    your writing is great Jinan. You have deep insight. Keep it up, you are blessed with the power of words. Thank you for sharing your gift.

    Comment by Vickie | December 16, 2010 | Reply

    • Vickie,
      I agree with you, she shouldn’t stay with him, but that doesn’t show that she’s an empowered person. She’s not a victim, she’s a very brave and strong person who fall in love deeply but with the wrong guy who never deserve her or even appreciate her love.
      That shows how much she’s faithful to the person she loves. It’s not her fault that she believed him, it’s his fault for not being brave enough to be honest with her. Thank you So much for vistting my blog, your comment is so appreciated Vickie 🙂

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 16, 2010 | Reply

  15. This story holds much wisdom and great insight into hearts. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. SHINE ON!

    Comment by Naomi | December 16, 2010 | Reply

    • THANK YOU Naomi 🙂
      I’m glad that you liked my article.. Take care!!

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 16, 2010 | Reply

  16. Great story as always sister keep up the wonderful work !! Blessings & Miracles xx

    Comment by Brenda McAleer | December 16, 2010 | Reply

    • As usual Brenda, you are always here to post a lovely comment… I’m always happy to read your comments 🙂 thank you so much!!! ❤

      Comment by Jinan Zeidan | December 16, 2010 | Reply

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