Jinan Zeidan's Blog

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Who’s Fault Is It?


It’s not about life, it’s about those who are living in it.

When I was a little girl they used to tell me good things to make me smile

Life was so easy maybe because I didn’t understand it

Or maybe because I was too innocent to understand.

They used to teach me to never lie

They said people who lie will always be called bad people

But after I grew up I found out that everyone lies

With bad people enjoying their lives

And honest people are paying the price.

They told me

To be happy,smile and dance in the rain

After I grew up

I knew that most of the times

We smile to hide our pain.

They taught me to cherish friendship in my life

It’s the purest thing I could ever have

A hug from a friend would heal your wounds

After I grew up, there was truth that I lacked

My friend’s hug was an excuse to stab me in the back.

They taught me to be respected and respect people in return

After I grew up I never dared to underestimate others

I respect people for who they are, but they took my respect as a weakness

I get lost in the connection people see with these two words: Respect and Weakness.

They taught me when you love someone, make them happy

Love is something so special, it’s about being faithful

It’s about honesty and sacrifice between two lovers

After I grew up, I knew lovers who became enemies

I see lovers who cheat on their loved ones

Looking at me and begging: “Please, don’t tell.”

I see lovers crying for the absence of their beloved

Their nights turn into days

While the other doesn’t care

Laughing while the one that loves them is in pain.

They used to tell me to never go near fire

Because I will burn myself

I spent my childhood years watching out from fire

And when i grew up I see adults playing with fire but without burns.

When I was a little girl I didn’t act my age

I didn’t play much but I used to read

And they used to tell me “Go play, kids should be playing; adults should read the most.”

After I grew up all I see is adults playing games to trick and set each other up.

Who’s fault is it? Who’s to blame?

Life? People? Or my parents who raised me in a great way?

I grew up to find myself in a jungle

Fearing people I meet, even though I should fear beasts

Everyone is passing by pushing me to get their aim

I am not standing in their way yet all they enjoy doing is hurting me.

Who’s fault is it? Is it my fault that my dreams turned into nightmares?

Or is it my fault since I dared dream?

They taught me lessons that were hard to understand

After I took them in, I grew up to find out these lessons failed me

They should’ve told me not to take life so seriously

They should’ve told me that it’s okay to fail.

All I was doing is studying so hard to be the perfect and polite girl

To never disappoint anyone in my life

But everyone disappointed me…

Who’s fault is it to lose the ability to deal with bad things?

To lose the ability to recognize the good person from the nasty?

I’ve learned my lessons but I failed in the exam

Not because I wasn’t ready, or because I forgot what I studied

But simply because life changed, and someone passed the wrong lessons

And everybody followed.

It’s not my fault that everyone knows these lessons

I was shocked and I cried a lot for not knowing answers when life tested me

It’s not my fault that after I grew up, the lessons changed

It’s not the same, it’s all the opposite… It’s all fake

With every lesson that slowly changed, I quickly learned life’s real lessons.

February 8, 2012 Posted by | emotions, English, fear, Footprints, forgiveness, friendship, Hate, Hurt, Life, Love, Memories, others, Parents, Past, Promises, silence, Smile, Speak, Thought, Trust, unfaithful, Words | 4 Comments