Jinan Zeidan's Blog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Mother’s Day


In her eyes you can read the words she keeps unspoken and in her heart you can feel the pain through a wound that is left unhealed. You can tell her that everything is going to be fine, you can tell her any lie just to make her feel good but she’s not blind, she knows what she feels is real…

A mother that lost her young boy in a war. She missed him coming through the door, on this day. She missed his hug, his laughter in place, when he used to scream “Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mom” and continue saying in a funny way, “I’m the luckiest guy on earth to have a mother like you. Seriously mom look at me, you brought someone like me into this life, that defines how amazing you are” and the laughter used to increase and her prayer for him too..

But, today she’s searching for her wonderful man, who used to fill the house with joy, but she can’t find him, she checks his room, his photos … She recalls the memories since he was a little boy, what he used to say with his gift, but the thing she remembers most is that he never forgets to say “I can’t imagine living in this life for one day without you mom”… These words killed her and every time she recalls them, she mumbles: “Who says I can? Daily, you are taking me from this life hundreds and hundreds of times at night…”

He is in a better place, that’s what his sisters tells her when she talks about him and cries. All these words that have been said to turn off the fire in her heart, are not working, because her heart is still wounded, missing her only son who used to make her the happiest mother on Mother’s Day and every day!

War. This monster that kidnaps soldiers in war, steals them from their mother’s lap, to break their hearts into millions of pieces. What would their mothers say on Mother’s Day? What would she feel while her heart never stops bleeding, missing her son who left one day without having a chance to say what he wants to say; maybe he thought he would come back home safe, maybe he never thought that his life will end there. It doesn’t matter what he thought, what matters is that he is not here anymore….

Years goes by, and the silent pain grows in the her heart, but the only day that her soul aches more than ever is on Mother’s Day. Maybe she envies the mothers who have never lost a son or maybe it’s only a wish that turns to a nightmare if only he visits her today…

She is the mother that is living her life in the memory of her son, her hero … All her other children are still around her. She gets the gifts, she gets the flowers and they all hold her on this special day like every day with tenderness and love… but through their laughter and warm hugs, her eyes are staring at the door.. she is still waiting with her pain that kills, missing her precious son and to feel how wonderful she is for bringing such a wonderful son like him into the world. But the feeling will never be felt again the day he left world, and the echo still comes to hear ears: “Happy Mother’s Day to the most wonderful mom on earth..”

Advertisements

March 23, 2013 Posted by | childhood, Death, emotions, English, Hurt, Letters, Life, Love, Memorial, Memories, Mother, others, Parents, Past, photos, Promises, R.I.P Mighty soldiers, silence, Smile, Soldiers, Speak, Thought, Wars, Words | 3 Comments