Jinan Zeidan's Blog

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Mighty Soldiers


She was there holding his hand begging him to stay

He was forced to leave her, how he wished to be there for another day. But he was comforting her by saying, “Anytime you need me, I’ll be there.”

“How is that?” she thought. He handed her a necklace with the name of the Lord engraved on it. “This will protect you and keep you from any harm”; she held it close to her heart.

She cried silently; her tears were burning every little breath she was taking.

Duty was calling him to serve his country, his steps were getting far while her heart was breaking apart.

Days passed by and months were like decades waiting for any news from him.

They said the war is near and never seeing his face was the only thing she feared.

She looked at her one year old child and holding him tight.

She said, “Please Lord, protect the father of my child and the man of my life. Keep him safe and bring him back home alive.

” Days passed by and the only seat she sat on was her husband’s, spending time on the balcony waiting for him to come.

One day she heard a knock on the door, and was hoping that her hero had come back home.

She opened the door and a soldier was standing there…She realized she became The mighty soldier’s widow.

She was frozen in place and didn’t dare say a word.

The man said, “Sorry ma’am for your loss, your husband was a brave soldier.” before he continued talking, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

The world stopped for hours and a deep silence filled the place; she opened her eyes to see all the family surrounding her.

Some were crying, others were in shock but she was the only one who was dying.

Mighty soldiers leave their places to serve their country, leaving behind a wife and kids who are waiting them to come back home. What do we know about their feelings when they leave to the military?

Their kids’ and wife’s photos are their ID’s to find their feelings. Their fears that their children’s eyes will be seen for the last time, their heart aches silently leaving their wives, the love of their life, and never have the chance to feel it again.

Lucky are those who come back to their families even though the sad images from wars are stuck in their minds. But what about those who never come back, leaving everything behind them? Sacrificing their happiness, and all the happy moments they will spend with their children to protect their country and fight for their rights that the enemies want to take from them.

They are fighters with mighty hearts who believe in God, who are ready to give their own life to save hundreds. These are people who are ready to sacrifice their own happiness with their families in return giving a chance for thousands of men to have happiness with their own loved ones.

Just by thinking of a woman standing by her window waiting for her man to come back home after the war, and getting nothing but a dead body without a soul…

Just by thinking of her place: how the emptiness filled it even though her kids are playing around…

Just by thinking of her packing his clothes, his favorite CDs, by recalling his last words, smiling for the good memories and crying more for the bad ones….

Just by thinking of her speechless when her kids ask her, “When will dad come back home?”… It tears my heart apart to think of any woman who lost her husband in a war, how long she would stand her loss, and her longing to see him again…

They are mighty soldiers, those who swore to protect their country and be loyal to their promise…

I believe that the moment they take their last breath, a new angel enters heaven after serving his time on earth beneath…

  Jinan
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September 5, 2012 Posted by | Death, fear, Human Rights, Letters, Life, Love, Memorial, Memories, others, Parents, Peace, R.I.P Mighty soldiers, Soldiers, Speak, Thought, USA, Violence, Wars, Words | , , | 5 Comments

The Release Of My First Book


Hello  everyone, just wanted to announce the release of my first book  ” Let Them Go With A Smile”. It’s on AuthorHouse.com & here’s the link:

http://bookstore.authorhouse.com/Products/SKU-000478132/Let-Them-Go-With-A-Smile.aspx

December 22, 2011 Posted by | Accidents, childhood, Death, Drugs, emotions, English, fear, Footprints, forgiveness, friendship, Grandfather, Hate, Human Rights, Hurt, Letters, Life, Love, Memories, Mother, Nature, news, others, outsiders, Overseas, Parents, Past, Peace, play with feelings, Politics, Poverty, Promises, Qoutes, silence, Smile, Speak, suicide, Technology, Thought, Trust, unfaithful, USA, Violence, Words, youth | 3 Comments

Let them go with a smile…


Life goes on and so do we, after the chances we miss, the risks we take and fail, the people who come our way just to hurt us and leave, it’s all good, even if they leave a scar, it would be all good if you just let them go with a smile from your heart…

Fear, this feeling that makes us feel weak, sometimes paralyzes us and won’t allow us to move forward, always backward…. We fear from flying or taking the risks but do we really fear from flying or the reality we are scared from falling down?  Any chance we miss, the hesitation crosses our mind, bad ideas flow towards our imagination, and one question is to ask: “Are we scared of taking those chances or  is the real fear about missing them? “.

Life goes on if we just let all what happens to us go with a smile, the smile won’t heal but it gives us hope to move forward, all the tears we cry endlessly, it hurts our eyes but also purifies our heart and soul. It gives us new look towards certain things or certain people we meet… Everything happens for a reason… The people who come to our path from nowhere, some come for a very short time and leave after they cause a huge heartache; and those who become a big part of our lives for years, they just let us down for no reason, life changes them; and those who swear nothing will set us apart, they would be the first to betray the friendship by being the first to push us down. We better let them all go with a smile, never regret knowing them.

How many times we ask why? But do we truly want to know the answers?? We worry about knowing the truth because sometimes behind every truth there is a mask that will fall down from a face we used to love … behind every word why? There is a truth that will be revealed, behind every question we ask why? The reality of those who we used to miss might show , a smile might fade away with those who promised to come back someday, but never did… Maybe it’s better to keep asking why? Without knowing the reason, though we keep wondering, but it’s better to let it go with a smile…

 God sends a lesson with every one of them to make us learn whom we should trust, and to whom we should really give other chances, and the what’s more that God teaches us through them, is the great lesson of “Forgiveness”. Never have hard feelings towards those who caused you heartaches. Forgive them, let them go with a smile from your heart, and have faith that God will send you the right people at the right time…

Life is full of surprises, not all of the them are happy ones, sometimes nature surprises us with crisis, but after that we stand up and fix the damages, we move forward, but again nature might surprise us with yet another crisis, a hurricane or another earth quake, millions of people lose their lives in those crisis, but it’s a test for other millions of people to accept what they lost and to start over… The question is: “How much do we have faith in God to thank him and be ready to let it go with a smile?” Every day is a new chance we take, a new risk we should be ready to make, we should accept if we missed those chances, or failed in the risks we took. In every day, a new person comes our way; we should expect that those people who we are meeting today came for a reason. Never regret what you face in your daily life, if we are wise enough, we should be ready to accept it all with an open heart…

Life goes on, and so do we… The chances we missed, the risks we were afraid to make, the people who came and left without a trace, only scars to remind us to never repeat the same mistakes again…. Life goes on… It would be all good if you just believed in God and let it go with a smile from your heart…

Jinan

June 13, 2010 Posted by | emotions, English, fear, forgiveness, friendship, Hate, Letters, Life, Love, Memories, Nature, news, others, Past, Peace, silence, Smile, Speak, Thought, Trust, unfaithful, USA, Violence, Words | 15 Comments

The Others


The others might be  living in pain, and that’s why they try to hurt you… The others might had completely had their own suffering, that’s why they always try bothering you…

They are humans just like you, but they think in a different way. They could hate you for very simple reasons, they could say lies, they could be very harmful but at the same time very friendly, they can be disguised to fool you, and you can be fooled if you don’t think that they are human but not angels… Just like you..

Human beings.. We are all humans, no angels living on the earth unless the others, the very good humans who love you unconditionally, the tender hearts who make sure to protect you when someone hurts you… The caring people who cry for your sadness and smile for your happiness, those who forgive you before you make mistakes and who forget themselves for your own sake.. those are the angels on earth…

But here’s the question to ask:” Why are the others always the ones who cause pain to others? There is always one side against the other side, is it how life goes on? Must there be one who is loved and others who hate ? Must there be one who smiles and others who cry? Is this is the way life goes on?

It’s always there… The others  who don’t care for others.. who never appreciate them because they have their own reasons, not because they are bad humans…

Life might have treated them so bad and they never found the  others standing next to them to help them get over their pain , their suffering….

Life might have been so cruel with them, they might have met the wrong people on their path… They might have shed tears in their lonely nights and never found the one shoulder to cry on….

The others are human but they are not bad, even though they hurt you in someway… Even though they say words that offend you , there must be deep deep pain in their hearts…. When others treat you badly without any reason , you should think what’s behind this treatment, you should think what the others have been through, who they met on their Path, who made them lose their faith in others….

Life could be so cruel to others, and sometimes could be unfair…Just forgive them when they stand in your way trying to destroy you.. Just forgive them if they try to fight you with all the different ways…. They are humans just like you , you have faith in yourself and in God too, but the others might have lost their way and lost their faith in God and that’s why they do their best to harm you…

Jinan

April 11, 2010 Posted by | British, Canada, childhood, emotions, English, forgiveness, friendship, Hate, Human Rights, Life, Love, Memories, others, Past, Peace, silence, Speak, Thought, Trust, USA, Violence, Words | 18 Comments

Mom Come Back Home…


“I wish I didn’t wake up today”, with wet eyes the young guy opened his eyes, after trying to get back to sleep, but he couldn’t….. Today is mother’s day, but where’s my mother today? Resting in peace…

He recalled the last year when he celebrated with her this day, he didn’t know it was the last occasion to share it with his mother, if he knew that, he would have asked God to stop the time, to keep her forever  in his life…

 If he knew that it was the last mother’s day for her, he would spend the whole day telling her how much her presence is appreciated and important to him… Last year she was here, but today she’s not, last year he bought her flowers on mother’s day, her  face was shining  taking the flowers from him ,  she held him with her warm arms, he almost felt himself in heaven,  while her arms were surrounding him, he felt like the angels were protecting him….. It was the last time he celebrated it with his mother.…. It was the last time he felt he was blessed by her angelic soul…..

 

“Today, I’m going to her grave”….. He mumbled, he looked towards his room’s door expecting her to knock on the door asking if he’s awake, he was waiting to hear her voice calling  from downstairs telling him to get up,  the breakfast is ready. But it was all illusions that drift him to jump from his bed believing that she’s in the kitchen preparing his breakfast, but when he got  there he broke down, knowing that he was drifted behind his illusions, his mother is not here, not in any place , his mother passed away year ago, and he’s here by his own, with her memories, thinking how his life went downwards since his mother died….

 It’s so weird, his life went as a short movie that morning, since his very first step when he was a little baby, the way she was crying after every fall he fell down, he recalled his first day in school, she stayed  with him the whole day to make sure he’s ok… With every step he took in his life, she was there for him. When he succeeded she was there to clap her hands and tell him how much she’s proud of him, and when he  failed, she was always there to tell him never mind everything is going to be ok, she was always there to hold him in his good times and bad times…. His mother was simply his world…. But today,  his world collapsed, his mother gone forever, he felt as if it’s the end of his world, nothing is going right, his life became darkness after he lost his light in his mother’s soul…..

Through his window he watched the people passing by his house, those who are holding gifts in their ways to their mother’s place, and others whose holding flowers  spreading the laughter’s  looking so happy only minutes apart them from meeting their mothers….

 He was standing watching with a broken heart, wishing if she can come home today, his illusion again tricked him, when he ran to open the door, expecting her back home again, but with disappointment, he found nobody standing at the front door… He felt it’s time to be brave and visit her grave…

 With all the sadness in the world, he walked to the graveyard, and put the flowers on her grave. He stood there with no words to speak, only tears….. He cried when he  told his mother  how  much he needs her, he apologized if he made her upset someday, he told her how much he needs to be surrounded by her arms to feel safe, because he feels so cold and his whole world has been breaking down since she died…..  He told her how hard it is to go back home every day since she left and not find her waiting for him there…..

But when he turned away with helpless steps  taking him far from this place, his heart was still there breaking over her grave begging her saying ” Please Mom, come back home!”

 Jinan

March 22, 2010 Posted by | Canada, childhood, Death, emotions, English, Letters, Life, Love, Memories, Middle East, Mother, silence, Speak, Thought, USA, Words | 9 Comments

Who Cares….. It’s Only Words



When others break their words, forget promises they made
When they smile happily, living in their fairytales,
 
I watch, praying silently, please don’t miss the chance I gave…

Who cares…
It’s only words 
broken letters, failed promises
 
It’s the unspoken words never said 
that make the spoken true words fake…
Who cares, when they can take your love for granted 
& push you to walk away, 
and nothing but more forgiving words they gain..
It’s only words, 
the same letters that can create lovely words and fill the heart with joy and passion
the same letters with different words, different meaning, 
can be harmful, can cause hurt, 
sometimes it makes you want to fly, to touch the sky 
other times it freezes your heart and makes you cry….
Who cares.. 
the same mistakes repeated, different excuse with different words..
broken letters creating words , using letters to erase the fault 
same letters, increase the wound, the same apology 
But with broken letters, they will always fail to be accepted… 
Promising Words with two faces,
causes pain by saying it, and the living in vain believing ….
It’s only promises, only words…. but its fake
LOVE, HONESTY,  LOYALTY, TRUST…. 
Same letters but different words, with different meaning – HATE, LIE, BETRAYAL…. 
Who cares…
when they use the letters in different words, when the trust goes 
I know… if you are honest today, you will lie someday… 
I know… if you are loyal today, tomorrow you will betray…..
It’s the missed chances I miss the most… 
I miss the trust I used to give…
It’s only words… 
Some are honest when they say it… 
To give another chance, to tell others they forgive them, 
to tell others they love them… 
as long as it’s honest words with letters that never break, it’s good to say …
But if it’s only words, 
covered by lies and fake, it’s better not to say….. 
Anyhow, who cares….. 
Those letters that make your life so bitter, 
broken letters covered by wonderful spoken words… 
the letters break, the meaning is fake… 
you’re life to be effected ….
Create new words with strong letters…. 
Who cares if they let you walk away…. 
Nothing matter anyways…. 
It was only spoken faked words….. 

When the others break their words and forget promises they made, 
you walk away feeling silent pain, after they miss the chance you gave….
Who cares… it was only words, 
Some day they will be erased… 
Jinan

March 11, 2010 Posted by | Canada, emotions, English, friendship, Lebanon, Letters, Life, Love, Memories, silence, Speak, Thought, Trust, USA, Words | 17 Comments

It’s Just A thought..Only A thought…


I always think about peace in my country, about getting over the blood and the bombs that killed hundreds of people, I say what if we live at last in peace… But I realized…It’s just a thought, only a thought…

I always think, about how this world is a mess, I think about poor people who live in poverty and suffer from illnesses. I wish some people could help them instead of spreading the violence in their countries. I wish some countries  could give them the  cure instead of spreading the disease… But I realized… it’s just a thought, only a thought…

 I always think, about  the scientists who discover new inventions every day,  to ease other people’s daily lives, but the more they are creating easier and faster inventions, the more the lives of other people are rushing and loosing the sense of humanity… it’s as if they are in a very tiny village, but away from each other like earth and space…I wish if people could still have some of their traditions, and have  control on their behavior,  But I realized….It’s just a thought, only a thought….

I think about people who lives in the 1st world are as if they are in the 3rd world, and vice versa. I just hope they stop saying 1st world, 2nd and 3rd world, because the whole world is a combination of these three worlds…  The poverty that is existing in the 3rd world is the same and sometimes worse in some countries  in the 1st world….I wish if they just look at people from all the countries as human beings without looking at their background or from where they are coming, because it‘s not about the country, it’s about the human being…But I realized..It’s just a thought, only a thought….

I always think…What if some day, we switch on the TV, without watching a funeral of a martyr, without watching the mothers passing out.

In Iraq, soldiers are getting killed of  all nationalities: US, Canadian, British, and many others. Their families are living the grief; they leave their own countries to die in other countries. Arabian soldiers, also die. They all die in the same countries, for the same reason, fighting terrorism… I wish if we could know who the real terrorist is. Maybe I know, but I wish, if they know… And I realized… it’s just a thought… only a thought

 I think, but I guess I will stop thinking. I will start to pray, that someday, all these thoughts become facts, so that we can reduce the pain in this world, so that people get a chance to live in peace, and those who trade human organs, get some respect from humanity… I will stop thinking; I will start to pray that someday my wishes become true and not just stays as …Only a thought…

  Jinan

February 10, 2010 Posted by | British, Death, English, Human Rights, Iraq, Lebanon, Life, Middle East, news, Peace, Politics, Poverty, Thought, USA, Violence, Wars | 6 Comments